Musings of an Empress

The days seem to just drag on right now. In some ways it feels like life is sailing past; but the things that really matter, well time practically stands still. Professionally I’m doing well…or so I hear. I’ve gotten great feedback on all the projects I’ve completed. In fact, I was tagged this week to work on projects specifically for the General. The Deputy Directors have been requesting me for a while now; their positive reception of my work is gratifying and I really need that to stay in this job.  We had an ORISE team meeting today and my project manager (read: guy who hired me) told me that there is a position, identical to the one I hold, opening in
Tennessee. Actually, it the exact job I wanted when I applied back in April last year. My boss told me he would put in a transfer request if I wanted it…I turned it down. No questions asked. I just said, “No thank you”.  Maybe it was a mistake; but I don’t think so. If I left right now it would be wrong for several reasons.  

1. Right now I would be using this as an escape from the parts of my life that I’m not happy with
2. There is no way that Oakridge could offer me the opportunities of professional growth that I already have here
3. G-ma and G-pa are back on this coast so my major reason for moving is no longer valid
4. Moving right now would be nothing more than an escape from the parts of my life that I’m not happy with [redundancy is intentional here, kids]

I get to start with a new boss in just over two weeks, after our After Action Report is on the Governor’s desk and I can’t wait. I will be shadowing the Exercise Director through the planning and execution of the Statewide Full Scale Exercise in November. Working for a loud retired firefighter is right up my alley.  We get along great and being a multi-tasker is definitely coming in handy. I swear he’s yet to finish one sentence before he’s on to the next thought. Anyway, I’m already getting to have a hand in all the processes involved in putting together statewide disaster preparedness exercises.   I’ve been throwing myself into my work even more than normal to make up for the fact that Adrian and I have been having a rough patch…or at least he’s been having a rough patch. I don’t know much and I don’t want to talk about what I do know…it’s tough enough to acknowledge it in my own mind. But when my personal life is up in the air…my professional life flourishes. Fortunately there is enough work to keep me busy and my mind mostly off of
Adrian…at least between the hours of 8 and 6.  I would also like to take this opportunity to plug the amazing quality of MAC make-up. I spent about 15 minutes driving and crying this morning and when I got to Starbucks, my make up was still perfect…the only telling feature was the redness of my eyes. When I got to work, no one was the wiser. MAC rocks, period.

So I stole this idea from <a href=”http://sios.mu.nu/”>Miss Joan</a> it just took me a little longer to get mine written.

1. I’m an Aries/Taurus Cusp kid. I was born directly in the center of the “Week of Power” which should explain a lot.
2.  I used to speak fluent Spanish…I even dream in Spanish when I’m really tired. While I was in college I taught myself Latin.  I also read and comprehend French.
3. I lived in
   N. Hollywood for a while. The city sucked…the apartment rocked. You can see it in Fast and the Furious.
4. I used to be head of PR for an independent clothing company…we had a huge celebrity following but the start-up capital wasn’t there and the company folded despite its popularity.
5. I used to live in
   Mexico every summer…if I could move back there for good I would do it in a heart beat.
6. My scariest moment happened before my senior year in high school. I was almost kidnapped in
   Mexico. I was dragged two blocks and down some stairwell before anyone got to me.  If one of my friends hadn’t been there…I wouldn’t be here now. To this day I will not willingly set foot in
   Tijuana.
7.  I like a man who knows how to use his hands; in fact, hands are one of the first physical features I notice on a man.
8. My favorite place to watch a sunset is the Ferry Landing in
   Coronado
9. My favorite artist is Shano; my favorite poets are Viggo Mortensen and Henry Rollins
10. I was born a firstborn…but after my parents adopted or took in other kids, I am now a third born….I’m still not used to being bossed around.
11. It’s been three years, but when I tell time my brain still automatically calculates the time in
    Iraq.
12. I see other people’s dreams all the time. Sometimes more vividly than they see it themselves…it used to scare me.
13. I dream walk…I have since I was 5 years old. It gets kinda crowded in my head sometimes.
14. There are three people I feel to the core of my being at all times.
15. If given the opportunity, I would trade my opposite soul for what’s behind door #2.
16. I wasn’t always an insomniac. It started when
    Clark went overseas…only recently has my body readjusted from Operation Iraqi Freedom time.
17. Other girls intimidate me sometimes. Guys make more sense to me.
18. I am irrationally terrified of lawn gnomes. I really do freak out if I see one unexpectedly. I’m also afraid of green parrots…I don’t like birds, but it’s mostly green parrots that scare me.
19. The first concert I ever went to was the Moody Blues when I was three.
20. I am a recovered anorexic purger. I don’t ever get on scales. If required to, I face backwards and close my eyes…just in case.
21.  I have colored my hair since I was 11…I don’t actually know what my “natural” hair color would be now.
22. I was a competitive cheerleader when I was a kid. Then, I coached cheer in college. I was also in colorguard in high school. (I know MOH is cringing to read this)
23. I was a ballet dancer for 12 years. I passed all my examinations through the Royal Academy of Ballet,
    London.  That means I fall gracefully.
24. I quit dancing to ride horses competitively.  I own two horses but I haven’t ridden since high school.
25. I have broken all of my toes except my big toes. (Some more than once). I’ve also broken three ribs, my tailbone and my elbow….only a few of these happened because of my clumsiness.
26. Read the rest of this entry »

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noël, Natal feliz!!

It’s been said that Christmas is the time to tell the truth about what you really want, so in the spirit of the season, here is my list:

1. I want Adrian’s dad to stop suffering and his mom to get some rest.
2. I want Adrian to be able to not worry so much about family and money and how to make all the pieces fit.
3. I want MOH to start believing in herself and the amazing quality of her writing.
4. I want MOH to be safe in Iraq next year
5. I want my own grandpa to enjoy the time he has left.
6. I want to be able to pick up extra hours at the old place and for those hours combined with my regular job to be enough to finally pay all my bills
7. I want all the people I love to have all the joy and love this world has to offer.
8. and I want those people to know that I love them with every fiber of my being

Thank you all for being a part of my life. “Merry Christmas to us, every one.”

I am so glad that tomorrow is Friday, and as such is my last day at the law firm. I start my new job first thing Monday morning but I’ve been so busy and stressed out that I haven’t even given myself time to think about it all. I spent time today cleaning out my office and that has made the transition more tangible. My coworkers are still in denial about me leaving, at least that’s what they keep telling me.

In addition to my career change, my dad is in the midst of change himself. He officially retires on August 1st, though his last shift is the 27th. He will retire with 31 years in this department and a total of 35 years as a firefighter. This decision has been a long time coming though the timing has turned out to be rather abrupt. It was only a week ago that he signed the paperwork…we’re all still reeling a bit…my dad included.

The main cause behind his expidited exit is my grandfather’s health. Last Friday, he and g-ma went to the oncologist. They were finally given a no bullshit assessment…the doctor gave my grandfather two to three months. Grandpa has been in quite a bit of pain since June and he’s been getting increasingly weaker. His spirits are still pretty good but the bad days are starting to almost equal the good.

They will take one final trip to Cali together next month. My nina is going to fly back to Tennessee to accompany them and my dad will take the return trip with them. It is my plan to spend a week there in September, whether it’s to say goodbye to grandpa or to comfort g-ma remains to be seen. All in all, it’s been a rather long week around here.

I’m doing the best I can, but the mania is swinging back around. I actually called JD tonight because I felt like I was losing control. I’m better now and I know that tomorrow is just another day. No, it’s more than that…it’s the last day I have to spend in the seventh circle of hell…I can’t wait for my new adventure to begin.

Ok, so I finally have good news. I got a new job last week. I start work on July 24th. That means only one last week in the purgatory that is my current working environment. Yes, I am counting down…and no, it’s not moving quickly enough. I can’t find words to properly express how happy i am to be leaving. I am definitely going to miss my coworkers; but it is more than time to move on from there.

The new job is a reception/front desk position with a distribution center about twenty minutes from my house. I’m getting a good pay raise and after 90 days, I’ll have benefits. I knew from the moment i met the hiring manager that he was someone I would love to work for. Turns out they thought I was pretty super too.

The hours are going to be tough since I am NOT a morning person (I have to be there by 7:30 am); but I will learn to adjust. At least they are guaranteeing me 40 hr weeks.

They also know that if the ORISE job comes through that I’ll take it…and they hired me anyway. I’d say that’s a good sign. On the ORISE front, there is the potential for a job to come through sooner than i had anticipated. The timing has the potential to suck horribly if I’ve just started a new job; but as one of my attorneys told me last week, if ORISE is my dream then I have to follow it no matter what…which is exactly what I plan to do.

Ok, so I know posting has been sporadic at best lately, but I have a couple good reasons. I’ve been spending all my work time not consumed with actual work applying for different jobs. I have to say, job hunting is incredibly time-consuming. Anyway, I had an iterview on Friday with a company in Sacramento. It’s a high call volume reception position with a hefty pay raise and benefits. From the moment I talked to the manager on the phone I knew he was the kind of person I would want to work for. On Friday however, my life was an example of Murphy’s Law.

It takes twenty minutes from my front door to the building where I was to interview. I left my house 50 minutes before I my appointment. I got to the general area without incident and then all hell broke loose. I was supposed to end up on West National street but I missed a turn adn ended up on National West…they are two different streets…and they don’t intersect. When I finally found my way, I was five minutes late for my interview. Foretunately, the manager was running late as well. I know I interview well; I always have, but I didn’t give a particularly stunning interview this time around…or so I thought…I struggled to be articulate and I think I forgot all the good buzz words I know. I’m pretty sure I was more irreverant than one is supposed to be and most likely I talked too much.

Apparently I must have said something right because he basically waxed poetic about my interview, my speaking skills and his general impression of me…I have a meeting with he and the general manager tomorrow morning so they can make me an offer. I might be out of the law firm soon after all. I even told them about the ORISE job being a possibility…it’s not a problem they say. So we shall see what tomorrow brings.

Wish me luck!!

We’ve been sold. I’m still reeling though I recieved the news on Wednesday. It feels like mom and dad got divorced and the judge sent us to live with the wrong parent. We all wante to live with dad, but alas, we’ve been told that mom will be keeping us. She will certainly lower our allowances and increase our chores…while micromanaging us all along.

The law firm I work for has been reduced (it’s official as of today along with the end of the fiscal year) from a general partnership to a sole proprietorship. The partner commonly referred to as Peter Pan has purchased the 50% interest of the other partner. This sale ushers out the last remaining voice of reason in management.

The other boss I really liked has effectively been laid off…those no one has the balls or ovaries (as the case may be) to tell her that she no longer has a job. See, around here they don’t like to fire people. Not only is it “not friendly” but the company would also be required to pay unemployment…God forbid they spend any money on their employees…at any point. Rather, they like to make the work environment so unbearable that you quit. Then not only does the company not owe any money; but managements’ collective conscious is absolved.

As ya’ll can see, I am way past disillusioned and way in to bitter and beyond caring. I would love nothing more than to get fired right now. That’s saying something about my workplace since I’m actually a bona fide workaholic. Always have been…but now I’m more like Peter Gibbons.

One of the attorneys and I were discusisng the problems that just seem to be getting worse and worse around here. She made a comment about the people at the top balancing the financial responsibility on those at the bottom. My observation: There are many governments that balance the economy on the backs of the peasants. But those governments are usually overthrown in some sort of a messy military coup. We’ve almost reached riot status kids.

I’m still job-hunting like crazy. Keep your fingers crossed about a job with ORISE/ORAU. (Google it if you want to know…I can’t give out a lot of detail yet.)

I’ve been absent around here lately because I can’t find my feet long enough to form words and subsequently, record those words. This week has been pretty busy with work, job-hunting, family and life.

So, here’s the rundown:

1. I’m still waiting to find out concrete answers regarding my interview last week. The more I learn about the job; the more I am convinced that it’s the perfect opportunity for me. SO keep your fingers crossed.
2. Grandpa isn’t doing well at all. He’s worse than he’s been letting on which we knew, to some degree. Turns out the last few weeks he’s been getting pretty dizzy. He didn’t even have the energy to go to my youngest niece’s 5th birthday party. G-ma won’t hardly leave his side.
3. Work is becoming increasing unbearable by the day. Like rats off a sinking ship allthe senior staff is attempting to defect. Hopefully, we’ll have the opportunity to leave en masse.

Now for the reeling part of the show. I got a call Friday afternoon from Kolohe. He informed me that this would be his last weekend at the bar…oh and at the college. He was offered (accepted) a job in Los Angeles…it starts Wednesday.

The upside is that he’ll be making more money and he won’t have the beastly commute. He’ll also be driving (piloting?) a boat so he’ll get to be back on the water. He needs that…his soul has withered by being landlocked.

The downside is that he will work four weeks at a time in L.A. and then be home for about a week before heading back. It also means that I don’t know when I will see him next.

It’s all so sudden that Kolohe is reeling aobut as much as we are. On top of all that, his grandfather passed away last week and his entire family is here from Hawaii.

You know it all caught me off gurad when the bar was full of cute, tall asian men
and I didn’t even get to appreciate them. Two of Kolohe’s cousins are pretty hot. Anyway, Grace and I bought Kolohe an ice cream cake and Strawberry and Cream frappuchinos. (They’re his favorite.) The worst part of the evening was having to break the news to G while she was at work.

In addition to Kolohe’s family, his wife was at the bar too. She isn’t the most pleasant of human beings and she certainly doesn’t like us. C’est la vie, we still got to say our goodbyes, and since I’ve talked to Kolohe twice already today, I have hopes that perhaps geography won’t make us entirely distant. Here’s to hoping that all of the events of the weekend sink in soon and I can stop my head from spinning.

Where to begin…there is so much to write down and so little time in which to write. I realize that I should be happy to be so busy since I’m the same one who complains bitterly when bored. I just wish I had enough time to gather my thoughts and maybe even finish one project before I dive head first into the next.

I digress; in the few minute I have, I simply must recount the events of Friday night. This story actually starts last Thursday when Grace and I were shopping for the many items we needed for host a barbeque on Friday night. As we were leaving the store, we ran into our old neighbor, Roger. We hadn’t seen Roger in about eight months as he moved shortly after we moved into the complex. We got along well for the short amount of time we knew him, so we stopped to chat.

By the end of the conversation, Grace had given him her number and invited him to stop by the barbeque if he wanted to the next night. We then thought nothing more of it and went about the preparations for the festivities.

The barbeque wasn’t a large party, just G and a couple other people and now, apparently, Roger. Friday night came and we cooked massive amounts of food. Roger showed up with his own beverages and we all had a laidback time. After a few hours, G had to leave since she had to work the next morning. She and the crew left but Roger stayed.

No big deal, Grace and I didn’t really see an issue. We played cards and drank for a while. Then each of us started to notice little things that were out of place…tiny details that would have been completely imperceptible had they been purported by say, Will or Dean. Then, with little warning, Roger asked Grace and I if we wanted to have a threesome.

Now, had he asked me when I was completely drunk or sober I could have answered him seriously (the answer I give him would be no regardless of my impairment); but he waited until I was just barely buzzed. In that state, my first inclination is to laugh…and that’s exactly what I did. I laughed at him. Not the polite “I’m a bit embarrassed” laugh…no, we’re talking the “full-out, did you really just ask that question in seriousness?” laugh. Grace informed him that we don’t actually roll that way.

Does he catch on to the fact that he’s been shot down? Nope. He asks again. Yeah…you’re not getting anywhere here buddy. At this point, I know I had the “you’re a moron” expression plastered across my face and here’s Roger, completely incredulous that we would say no to him.

Grace and I got him towards the front door as quickly as possible…two reasons: not only was he getting creepier by the moment, but I was loosing what little control I had over my words…I was about to call him all sorts of names as I told him what I really thought.

Doorway…we’re almost free of Roger…wait, he turns back around and asks, “So, maybe another night then?”

Seriously?? Did you really ask a third time? Do you realize that you had to double check which one of us was Grace and which one was Audrey? Are you really that stupid? Or that cocky? I’ma have to lean towards stupid…the man had previously been cute…but he was never that cute.

We barely got the door closed behind him before Grace and I collapsed on the floor in fits of laughter. It took several minutes to compose ourselves.

Everyone who has heard this story has had the same response: “He said what?!?! You’re not supposed to say that out loud!” Since then, Dean will periodically call and simply ask, “So, wanna have a threesome?” Before he dissolves into a fit of laughter himself.

Note to self: Apparently, the words: wanna hang out and barbeque with us actually means: wanna have a threesome…Useful information to know.

I am finally back at work after an eventful morning. The swearing-in ceremony went well (even if it did run a tad long) I’m excited to see what new things this chief will implement and how he plans to clean up the former chief’s mess.

Why do we despise the former chief (aka Satan) so much? Well, there are a variety of reasons; one of the most prominent being that he attempted to impune my Dad and JD’s integrity. You can say many things about both of those men, but their integrity is not something wither of them have ever taken lightly.

I’ve written before about all the drama JD has had with the chief in regards to promotions/union activities and the like. As a side-note, JD’s case goes to trial next month. Should be a good ruling, but we’ll have to wait and see for sure.

I haven’t talked much about my Dad’s involvement. My dad is a quiet and determined man. He has a gentle spirit, but don’t even make the mistake of viewing his quietness as weakness. My dad is about as tough as they come. He has great leadershp ability (though he would disagree) and people not only trust him, but they follow him. I could make a good size list of firefighters he has mentored in his 30 years with this department. JD is just one of them.

My dad has been active on the union and negotiations boards for as long as I can remember. He was and is a good dad; but his work has always not only followed him home but ingrained itself into everyday life. Until very recently, he has lived and breathed two things: the fire department and his family. He has sacrificed of himself for years to take care of the firefighters as a group and in turn the safetyof this community.

So, all that said, someone coming through and claiming my father to be underhanded and a liar didn’t sit well with me, nor other members of the department. Add to that the shady hiring and promoting practices of Satan and the fact that he deliberately deceived the residents of this town in order to get an initiative passed that diverts money to the fire department the way he wanted not the ways they needed it.

Ok, end rant. It is more than sufficient to say that I am both thrilled and relieved that we officially have the new Chief as of 11:35am. (Not that I was keeping track or anything.) Gonna go do a happy dance after work to celebrate. It’s my night…starting tomorrow I am the designated driver for several firefighters whose celebrations will most likely last through the weekend.