When I Apply Myself
The days seem to just drag on right now. In some ways it feels like life is sailing past; but the things that really matter, well time practically stands still. Professionally I’m doing well…or so I hear. I’ve gotten great feedback on all the projects I’ve completed. In fact, I was tagged this week to work on projects specifically for the General. The Deputy Directors have been requesting me for a while now; their positive reception of my work is gratifying and I really need that to stay in this job. We had an ORISE team meeting today and my project manager (read: guy who hired me) told me that there is a position, identical to the one I hold, opening in
Tennessee. Actually, it the exact job I wanted when I applied back in April last year. My boss told me he would put in a transfer request if I wanted it…I turned it down. No questions asked. I just said, “No thank you”. Maybe it was a mistake; but I don’t think so. If I left right now it would be wrong for several reasons.
- Right now I would be using this as an escape from the parts of my life that I’m not happy with
- There is no way that Oakridge could offer me the opportunities of professional growth that I already have here
- G-ma and G-pa are back on this coast so my major reason for moving is no longer valid
- Moving right now would be nothing more than an escape from the parts of my life that I’m not happy with [redundancy is intentional here, kids]
I get to start with a new boss in just over two weeks, after our After Action Report is on the Governor’s desk and I can’t wait. I will be shadowing the Exercise Director through the planning and execution of the Statewide Full Scale Exercise in November. Working for a loud retired firefighter is right up my alley. We get along great and being a multi-tasker is definitely coming in handy. I swear he’s yet to finish one sentence before he’s on to the next thought. Anyway, I’m already getting to have a hand in all the processes involved in putting together statewide disaster preparedness exercises. I’ve been throwing myself into my work even more than normal to make up for the fact that Adrian and I have been having a rough patch…or at least he’s been having a rough patch. I don’t know much and I don’t want to talk about what I do know…it’s tough enough to acknowledge it in my own mind. But when my personal life is up in the air…my professional life flourishes. Fortunately there is enough work to keep me busy and my mind mostly off of
Adrian…at least between the hours of 8 and 6. I would also like to take this opportunity to plug the amazing quality of MAC make-up. I spent about 15 minutes driving and crying this morning and when I got to Starbucks, my make up was still perfect…the only telling feature was the redness of my eyes. When I got to work, no one was the wiser. MAC rocks, period.
100 Things
So I stole this idea from <a href=”http://sios.mu.nu/”>Miss Joan</a> it just took me a little longer to get mine written.
- I’m an Aries/Taurus Cusp kid. I was born directly in the center of the “Week of Power” which should explain a lot.
- I used to speak fluent Spanish…I even dream in Spanish when I’m really tired. While I was in college I taught myself Latin. I also read and comprehend French.
- I lived in
N. Hollywood for a while. The city sucked…the apartment rocked. You can see it in Fast and the Furious. - I used to be head of PR for an independent clothing company…we had a huge celebrity following but the start-up capital wasn’t there and the company folded despite its popularity.
- I used to live in
Mexico every summer…if I could move back there for good I would do it in a heart beat. - My scariest moment happened before my senior year in high school. I was almost kidnapped in
Mexico. I was dragged two blocks and down some stairwell before anyone got to me. If one of my friends hadn’t been there…I wouldn’t be here now. To this day I will not willingly set foot in
Tijuana. - I like a man who knows how to use his hands; in fact, hands are one of the first physical features I notice on a man.
- My favorite place to watch a sunset is the Ferry Landing in
Coronado - My favorite artist is Shano; my favorite poets are Viggo Mortensen and Henry Rollins
- I was born a firstborn…but after my parents adopted or took in other kids, I am now a third born….I’m still not used to being bossed around.
- It’s been three years, but when I tell time my brain still automatically calculates the time in
Iraq. - I see other people’s dreams all the time. Sometimes more vividly than they see it themselves…it used to scare me.
- I dream walk…I have since I was 5 years old. It gets kinda crowded in my head sometimes.
- There are three people I feel to the core of my being at all times.
- If given the opportunity, I would trade my opposite soul for what’s behind door #2.
- I wasn’t always an insomniac. It started when
Clark went overseas…only recently has my body readjusted from Operation Iraqi Freedom time. - Other girls intimidate me sometimes. Guys make more sense to me.
- I am irrationally terrified of lawn gnomes. I really do freak out if I see one unexpectedly. I’m also afraid of green parrots…I don’t like birds, but it’s mostly green parrots that scare me.
- The first concert I ever went to was the Moody Blues when I was three.
- I am a recovered anorexic purger. I don’t ever get on scales. If required to, I face backwards and close my eyes…just in case.
- I have colored my hair since I was 11…I don’t actually know what my “natural” hair color would be now.
- I was a competitive cheerleader when I was a kid. Then, I coached cheer in college. I was also in colorguard in high school. (I know MOH is cringing to read this)
- I was a ballet dancer for 12 years. I passed all my examinations through the Royal Academy of Ballet,
London. That means I fall gracefully. - I quit dancing to ride horses competitively. I own two horses but I haven’t ridden since high school.
- I have broken all of my toes except my big toes. (Some more than once). I’ve also broken three ribs, my tailbone and my elbow….only a few of these happened because of my clumsiness.
- Read the rest of this entry »
2007
Happy New Year!!
I don’t believe in resolutions; I figure, if there is something that I want to change about myself then I should just change it. There is no reason to wait around for a new year to start. However, I do have a couple wishes for the new year.
- It is my hope that each and everyone of you has a year of peace, joy and friendship.
- I wish for MOH and I to grasp all the happiness and love there is to be gained from this world. It’s our turn to shine, MOH.
- I want to see the beauty in the little things this year, even with thr stress of everyday life.
I don’t think I’m asking or expecting too much from this next year…only what I know is very possible. I enjoyed the second half of 2006 and I’ve decided that I’m looking forward to the start of 2007.
Love and light to all of you.
Time to Remember
Today is the three year anniversary of the death of Spc. Michael G. Mihalakis. He was a member of Clark’s unit in Iraq. Michael died of injuries sustained in a non-combat vehicle accident at the Baghdad International Airport on December 26, 2003.
In some ways it seems difficult to believe that three whole years have passed…in others it seems as if it was an entire lifetime ago. I think that too many of us have lost a personal connection to this war and to the soldiers still fighting it. I know that personally, I would have completely lost touch with the day to day events of the war if it weren’t for MOH and the men in uniform I work with.
However, even with the craziness and stress of everyday life, it’s still important to remember those who gave their all. So, to Michael’s family: Thank you. While my words can never replace what you lost, know that you have my gratitude. I know that nothing can bring your son back; but he will always be remembered.
Christmas Wishes
Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noël, Natal feliz!!
It’s been said that Christmas is the time to tell the truth about what you really want, so in the spirit of the season, here is my list:
- I want Adrian’s dad to stop suffering and his mom to get some rest.
- I want Adrian to be able to not worry so much about family and money and how to make all the pieces fit.
- I want MOH to start believing in herself and the amazing quality of her writing.
- I want MOH to be safe in Iraq next year
- I want my own grandpa to enjoy the time he has left.
- I want to be able to pick up extra hours at the old place and for those hours combined with my regular job to be enough to finally pay all my bills
- I want all the people I love to have all the joy and love this world has to offer.
- and I want those people to know that I love them with every fiber of my being
Thank you all for being a part of my life. “Merry Christmas to us, every one.”
Sick Cycle?
The confusion inside of me seems unsurmountable right now. I don’t know…I feel like I’m back on that carousel like before. No, it doesn’t have anything to do with Clark. I’m just at a low point and things I thought I knew have ceased to exist in their proper form. What I need right now is some clarity…maybe someday.
