Musings of an Empress

Ok, so ya’ll know that there are supposedly 9 circles of hell…in my own hell, at least two circles are occupied by Wal-mart. The 3rd circle is Wal-mart on a normal day…by definition, Wal-mart is hell. It also comprises the fifth circle on weekends and payday. YEs, I do know this from personal experience.

But the 4th circle is missing you say? Quite right…the fourth circle of my own personal hell is held by one solitary character: /

Yup, that’s it this stupid character kicked my arse for about 4 hours yesterday. Ya’ll know that I am creating three separate blogs for my law firm. We are set to launch on Monday…well, two of the three sites will be ready. Anyway, putting these sites together has consumed most of my waking (and some of my sleeping) hours. The templates have all been manually adjusted for color, font, spacing, and content.

I have become far more proficient in HTML code than I ever thought possible. Now, I won’t pretend that i know a whole lot; but I do know enough to get by. Well, after posting almost 100 entries, I had to go back through and organize them. Not so difficult, but definitely time-consuming and labor intensive. Well, after about three hours of sorting and coding, i went back through to check all my links.

None of them worked…now they work a couple hours before when I tried; but now, nothing. What happened? I didn’t moce any pages after I input the links…I checked the template again…still right…hmmm.

After hours of going through the entire template, one line at a time I realized what happened. Blogger had decided to “help” out my codes. After I had entered them, Blogger added an extra “/” to each and every link line. Frickin’ frackin’ Blogger. So then I got the distinct pleasure of going back through each and every link (for the 58th time) to remove the extra character.

So, the moral of this story is:

1. Computers are a mean breed of machine sometimes.
2. I hate HTML codes.
3. Working hyperlinks are overrated.
4. You can never be too careful when you live in the blogging ghetto (right, Joan?)
5. There is a fourth circle of hell, and it’s populated by the /

Ok ya’ll, go ahead and laugh; I will readily admit to being a life-long (well not my whole life…I am older than that) GnR fan. Sweet Child O’ Mine is one of my all-time favorite songs.

Anyway, Ogre bought the Greatest Hits album and let me borrow it yesterday. It’s been on constant repeat in my car. It really is the best of…anyway, I keep hearing this song in my head. It seems to be following me around. Flip the genders…the song makes perfect sense.

Much to say about work; but my brain is too tired to make sense of the madness. Suffice to say, I am in the process of creating three separate blogs for my firm…blogs that are being created from scratch and are supposed to be launched Monday morning. I am beyond stressed and exhausted. But, at the same time, I am enjoying this project. It is my brainchild, and I am extremely proud…or I will be when it’s finished. I am such a perfectionist firstborn sometimes.

Ok, enough about that…I will show ya’ll my handiwork first thing on Monday…or maybe Sunday night if I’m feeling generous. (So very pretentious of me to think that ya’ll want to see it first.) hehehe…

Patience ~ Guns ‘n’ Roses

Shed a tear ’cause I’m missin’ you
I’m still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn’t sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt
You’re in my heart now

Said, woman, take it slow
It’ll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said, sugar, make it slow
And we come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(patience)
Mm, yeah

I sit here on the stairs
‘Cause I’d rather be alone
If I can’t have you right now
I’ll wait, dear
Sometimes I get so tense
But I can’t speed up the time
But you know, love
There’s one more thing to consider

Said, woman, take it slow
And things will be just fine
You and I’ll just use a little patience
Said, sugar, take the time
‘Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I’ve got what it takes
To make it, We won’t fake it,
I’ll never break it
’cause I can’t take it

…little patience, mm yeah, mm yeah
need a little patience, yeah
just a little patience, yeah
some more patience, yeah
need some patience, yeah
could use some patience, yeah
gotta have some patience, yeah
all it takes is patience,
just a little patience
is all you need

I been walkin’ the streets at night
Just tryin’ to get it right
Hard to see with so many around
You know I don’t like
Being stuck in the crowd
And the streets don’t change
But baby the name
I ain’t got time for the game
’cause I need you
Yeah, yeah, but I need you
Oo, I need you
Whoa, I need you
Oo, all this time

Did I miss the memo where we are rationing steel and aluminum again?? I ask because my mind is currently boggled by my most recent purchases.

Here’s the thing: it cost me $3 more to get my car fixed than it did to buy razor blades. Now, I don’t know about ya’ll, but I think it’s criminal that I had to pay $30 for one package of razor blades. (And that was the Sam’s Club price!!) I took my car to the mechanics yesterday, I had a service and safety done…ya know, all the tests and oil and filter change…all the good preventative stuff; it cost $33…. any one else seeing a disparity here?

How is it possible that prices can be so ridiculous!?!?! I realize it’s a little thing in the scheme of life, and that’s fine…I am mostly over it now anyway. But the issue still remains…since I’m not going to stop using my razor…

I just found the comparison to be more than a little ridiculous. Ok, end random rant.

With all the stress and drama swirling around me the last couple weeks, I miss the days when life was simple. I am resigning my adulthood (effective immediately) and returning to the age of 6. An age when I had few cares or worries…a time when I didn’t worry about paying bills on time, or making sure that there were groceries in the fridge, or clean clothes in the closet. When it was just assumed that people (expecially grown-ups) would do exactly what they say they will do.

My brain hasn’t been forming full thoughts today. I haven’t had enough sleep the last two weeks…I was stoked to get 5 hours at once with drugs. It’s taking a toll on my mind and spirit. I am drained. Being a girl has been escpecially taxing the last few days. Saturday I could barely drag myself off the couch…today is much better, but I am still exhausted.

I am excited about the new marketing project I am working on for the firm. I will explain more as the project comes together. But, what I can say is that it will be an incredible tool for the business, I think. If I could impose upon the fabulous legal professionals I am proud to call readers and friends, I would love to have your input. Let me know if you’re interested…it will take about five minutes of your time!
Ok, another subject, if you want to know what I’ve been listening to this weekend, check out my playlist.

Also, the song I have been playing over and over (Thanks Rie for reminding me of its existence):

Cherish The Day ~ Sade

You’re ruling the way that I move
And I breathe your air
You only can rescue me

This is my prayer
If you were mine
If you were mine
I wouldn’t want to go to heaven

I cherish the day,
I won’t go astray
I won’t be afraid
You won’t catch me running

You’re ruling the way that I move
You take my air…

Show me how deep love can be

You’re ruling the way that I move
And I breathe your air
You only can rescue me

This is my prayer

I cherish the day
I won’t go astray
I won’t be afraid
You won’t catch me running

I cherish the day
I won’t go astray
I won’t be afraid
Won’t run away

You show me how deep love can be
You show me how deep love can be
This is my prayer

PS~ Clark, I miss you…

I’m not writing too much tonight. I’m tired and I just don’t feel like it. I’m a cranky girl and I wanna crawl into a hole for a while. Anyway, Jason finally made it to his destination. Read about his adventure here.

Good stuff Jason, thanks for sharing it.

Lots of prayers and hope of safety to Christina and her whole family.

Have a good night ya’ll…and stay safe wherever you are.

While the gettin’s still good. Or something to that effect.

It seems like the population of the whole southern half of Texas is on the freeway right now. I have many friends and family who live in Texas, from Houston to Dallas-Ft. Worth. All of them have been accounted for, thank God.

Keep the evacuees and the EMS workers in your thoughts and prayers as everyone scrambles to be ready for Rita. Jason has several updates about his evacuation process. Be careful out there Jason!!

Fabulous Miss Feisty is preparing for a house full of people and pets. Ingrid and Lauren are still at home. Stay safe girls!!! Hopefully thestorm will completely bypass Miss Joan this time around. I hope you feel better sweetie!!

Even work here is being slightly affected. Federal Express has ceased deliveries to most of Texas according to our rep. So now we shift cases and shuffle priorities to make accomodations for Rita. Back to work I go…I’ll update ya’ll as I learn more.

It’s Wednesday, and by now, ya’ll should know that means it’s Seven Inches of Service day. Last week, we wrote advice to the girlfriends left at home during a deployment or the ones pereparing for a deployment. This week’s list is for you soldiers out there. Everything that follows has been tested in my own life. Go read the rest of today’s posts!!

Clark and I actually went through the deployment together with minimal drama between us. The outside world presented quite a bit of stress, but our relationship moved along pretty smoothly. So here ya go:

1. When you start out this deployment process, there is an important decision to be made. Do you want to be in a long distance relationship in the first place? If you are going to commit to a relationship, then do it; if you don’t want to that is your choice, but don’t fake it…there are plenty of girls who will just be a pen pal if all you want is mail. Be upfront with your girlfriend about what you really want.
2. Along those lines, know that trust is important. Obviously, trust is important in all relationships, but even more so in relationships that last through deployments. You have to be able to trust each other completely, otherwise you will be consumed with doubt and that is a recipe for trouble. If you want her to trust you; you’ve gotta trust her too. Don’t get bogged down by officers or friends who tell you that all girls cheat while their soldiers are gone. Yes, some do. But the vast majority don’t…wouldn’t even dream of it. Have faith in the girl you love; she is going to do the same for you.
3. Realize that you have a “war face”, recognize what what your war face looks like and how it manifests itself. Please try to understand the effect it has on those around you. We know that you have to put on your war face, and that it will make you distant. That’s how it has to be, and we all accept that; but it’s not an easy concept to grasp until you’ve lived it. Please be aware of that fact and don’t judge your girlfriend too harshly. It’s frightening to watch the man you love completely change in the beat of a heart…and it takes some getting used to. But don’t take that to mean that we can’t handle you or your deployment…we can. We haven’t been brainwashed or misled and we willingly choose to endure the deployment from within the silent ranks because we love you. We choose to be with you the same way you have chosen to be with us.
4. I have said it hundreds of times, and ya’ll will probably hear it at least that many times more: Communication is of paramount importance. That said, communicate whenever you can. Letters, emails, phone calls, photos…utilize whatever means are at your disposal. You don’t have to be a prolific letter writer to make this work, but put some effort into it. When Clark was gone, I wrote him about three or four letters a week. In return, I got about one letter every six weeks. But that was ok, because I knew that it wa all the letter writing he could do, and as long as he was making an effort, then I didn’t mind that I was sending more mail then I received. For the record, emails (while nice and appreciated) do not make up for hearing your voice if you have access to phones. Clark was very diligent about calling at least once every phone day, frequently he would call two or three times on phone day; that made the intervening days much more bearable for both of us.
5. Probably the most helpful thing that Clark and I did before he left was to develop a code or system between us so that we could stay aprised of each other’s lives without breaking OPSEC. We worked out words to let each other know that we were alright, one to say that things were crazy, phrases to let each other know what we could expect to hear in the next few days, good and bad. We also wrote coded phrases in our letters to each other so we could discuss an event without ever using words that would have outside meaning or repercussions…we weren’t about to be the ones responsible for having phone day cut short.

Clark’s deployment was tough on us; no mistaking that. But, it was definitely made easier by following the steps listed above. We had few disagreements, and we learned a lot along the way. Deployments are never simple, but they aren’t impossible either…and they can make your bond unshakable.

Updated below

Ever been afraid to look out the window because of what might await you outside? I am not a nturally fearful person…I am cautious because of experience, but I don’t have a spirit of fear.

Here’s a little secret about me; I have a completely irrational fear of door peepholes. You know, they’re eye level (for most people) in the front door of most houses…well I am terrified to look through them. I have a fear that someone will jump through while I am looking out. I makes absolutely no sense and has no connection to any event in my life. (Thereby rendering the fear irrational) Anyway, I have been forcing myself into aversion therapy of sorts to get over it…I make myself look through the peephole whenever I go to answer the door. I am getting better…but that isn’t actually the point.

The point is this: that feeling of fear that grips me when I have to look through the peephole has been plaguing me all week. Only this fear isn’t irrational…there is something going on…I don’t know what it is; but it’s big. I’m not the only one who is feeling this. I had nonstop nightmares last night. I woke up in a cold sweat twice…that’s not normal for me…there are some other things going on as well. I can’t put my finger on all of it yet, but I am hoping to know before it’s too late.

So, until I can narrow down what’s going on and who it involves, do me a favor ya’ll…check in if I haven’t heard from you in a while. Just let me know you’re alright for the time being. Clark…this means you too, check in with TG if you need to…

Sigh…and usually the moon is so peaceful for me…but there is something in the air…

***UPDATE*** The disquiet is getting worse. G is having the same responses. Most of ya’ll have checked in, even Clark. It’s bigger than individuals…but I know little else that I want to discuss. I’m still not sleeping…the moon was red again last night…and full. I’m functioning on about two hours of sleep. Thanks Judy and Rie for being there last night.

Thanks to Bette I now remember that it’s National Talk like a Pirate Day!! Arrrr!! She has some great links up over there, so go check them out!!! For today, my pirate name is Secondmate Elizabeth the Fearsome

You Are A Pirate!

What Type Of Swashbuckler Are You?
brought to you by Maddog Varuka & Dawg Brown

Hehehe just one more good excuse to watch Johnny and Orlando!! As if I ever needed an excuse.

At least for a moment I can breathe again. My week has finally come to an end…and I am pleased to announce that I did indeed survive. I suppose a quick rundown is in order, so I will try not to ramble. It is late after all…not that I’m sleeping much these days anyway.

My work week was tense and stressful as most of you know…and I even called in sick on Friday (hense the middle of the night posting) My fire cadets had their open house on Wednesday night and S and I spent the first half of the week preparing for it. So much work went in to it…but it was a big success and we have four or five new cadets now. That’s good for the program, so I’m happy.

Last night was Jean’s very low-key and very fun bachelorette party. The strippers were wonderful. (I am so kidding, it was just us girls, several white russians, and some Fakespearian actors). We did hair and nails and watched movies. Like I said, it was really laid back, but I think Jean had a good time, which was really the whole point, now wasn’t it.

Friday and Saturday Grace and I worked at a songwriters’ conference/workshop. There was a lot of hurry up and wait, and I didn’t get to work with the planners like I had hoped, so it was kinda disappointing. But there were a few good moments. We passed several hours of downtime by playing “celebrities” and helping the different clinicians with minor details.

We did get to spend some time with a friend of mine from L.A. who was up to lead a drummer workshop. He’s a cool guy, funny, smart, smartass, he’s great and I love hanging out with him…his only fatal flaw: he looks and sounds just like Clark. They say that everyone has a twin in this world (some have more than one) and pretty much, my friend is Clark’s clone. While on some levels you can see how this would be appealing…seriously, it’s like Clark in five years with his ish all together…and at the same time…well, you see where I’m headed; Clark just needs to figure life out already.
Speaking of Clark, he talked to TG Friday night and he’s ok…for the time being. It’s not all settled yet, not by a longshot…but for now, I can start breathing again. So, thanks ya’ll for the positive thoughts and prayers. I’m hoping to know more soon.