Musings of an Empress

I quit!! I don’t want to play anymore. I am resigning my adulthood as of today and I am going back to five. That was a good year for me. I had no worries, I could read to entertain myself and I could take naps if I wanted to.

Today has been more stressful than I can even begin to put into words. I would break down and cry, but I don’t have the energy. I know that if I fall apart I will have to put myself back together as everyone in my life is having drama of their own…and to be perfectly honest…I don’t have the energy or emotional stability to put myself back together right now.

The “moving plan” has been just that. It has changed (I am not exaggerating at all) ten times today…did I mention today is only half over?? I am exhausted already. Grace and I get on a plane at 9pm tonight and fly back to San Diego. Tomorrow we go to Temecula and help move our furniture downstairs so that we can load it up on Monday. (yep, that’s right, Monday now instead of Sunday) Sunday we will spend the day cleaning the apartment and finishing the packing.

Monday morning we get the Uhaul and load it up. We then drive it and the car to Temecula again so that Uncle Jeff can help us load the furniture and trailer our car properly. Then we drive up to Lancaster, unload half the truck and reload it with things from Grace’s parents house. We’ll spend the night there and first thing Tuesday morning we will make the drive back up to the valley.

Tuesday afternoon, hopefully we will have S back in town to sign paperwork so we can move in. The complex is being really inflexible about when we three sign the lease papers. So if all goes as planned (hahahahahahahahaha) we will move in Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. I am already going to have to take Wednesday off from work in addition to the first two days. Sigh.

That is the vary brief version and I left out most of the variables. Everything is up in the air and I hate that. I am pretty flexible but I am about hitting my breaking point…it also doesn’t help that I have to ask my dad for money and I haven’t seen him for more than ten minutes in a row for at least two weeks. I hate that regardless…oy…I need his calm right now…since I’m pretty sure calling JD is out of the question for now…I need someone to tell me things are going to work out…so I figure my dad could be good for that.

The worst part is that my drama isn’t the biggest one occurring in our family right now…it’s true: when it rains; it pours…and today I think it’s hailing.

This cracked me up…I know a lot of you are going to just read and nod…you know what i’m talking about…I thought this day could do with some humor. So here you go; enjoy.

You Know You’re From So Cali When:

1. You’re driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends
2. You go to a karaoke bar and battle with seven year old divas-in-training who are trying to steal your thunder
3. You’re sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day
4. You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch
5. You see purple and gold and the word “Threepeat” on every corner
6. You begin to “lie” to your friends about where you are (i.e. “Yeah I’m like 20 minutes away”) - when you know that it’ll take you at least an hour to get there).
7. You eat a different ethnic food for every meal
8. You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking it’ll be your favorite Laker or WB star.
9. You make a conscious choice to watch Jay Leno over David Letterman
10. You know it’s best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.
11. Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about “twenty minutes”.
12. You’ve inadvertently learned Spanish.
13. You’ve got to bring the cat/plants in when it drops to 55 degrees.
14. In the “winter”, you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
15. You’ve bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.
16. You know what “sigalert”, “PCH”, and “the five” mean.
17. Your pizza delivery guy is also on contract with Warner Bros.
18. If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you’re definitely driving.
19. You have a gym membership because it’s mandatory.
20. Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.
21. You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny.
22. You’ve trespassed through private property to get to the “Hollywood” sign.
23. You’ve partied in Tijuana at least once.
24. You don’t stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
25. You’ve lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot.
26. You’ve ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
27. Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
28. You eat pineapple on pizza.
29. You’ve been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.
30. When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: “With/Without traffic.” You classify new people you meet by their Area Code.
31. An “818″ would never date a “562″ and anyone from “323″ or “213″ is ghetto/second class. Best area code: “310.”
32. Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don’t panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your car phone and tell them you’re on TV.
33. You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald’s or a Starbucks.
34. Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.
35. You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.
36. Everyone you know has 3+ phone numbers. Home, Office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail…..
37. It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing.
38. You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: “That ain’t even a 5-pointer” and go back to sleep.
39. You think you are better than the people who live “Over the Hill”. It don’t matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
40. You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.
41. Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street. You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, ” They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space.”
42. You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.
43. You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don’t have any.
44. You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.
45. You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
46. The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
47. Any invitation comes with, “Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic.” You have never met a waiter that wasn’t really an “Actor.”
48. You call 911 and they put you on hold.
49. The waitress asks if you’d like “carbs” in your meal.
50. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from So Cal.

Regardless of what the universe tosses your way or how suddenly it’s tossed, you’ve always been much more liable to wait, think and consider what to do next than to react immediately. That’s a trait that’s come in handy more than once, but it won’t do the job now. What’s called for at the moment is the ability to act quickly and to be bold enough to make the consequences of those actions stick, both of which you definitely have covered.

Well the first part sure is true! This day has been just one thing after another…not just today, rather this last week has been a nonstop rollercoaster. I don’t even know where to start…I know that there are a lot of moderately important details that I have left out thus far.

I will attempt to fill in the gaps and we’ll see what happens. So I guess I should back up to when Grace got here. I took the whole family (minus dad who was working…that story is next) with me to the airport to pick up Grace. In our excitement and exhaustion, we took the wrong bags from the airport. A fact we wouldn’t realize until hours later. Thankfully it was no huge problem the next morning we went back to the airport and retrieved the correct bag.

So after the airport Saturday night, we took Grace, D, and the kids to the station to see Dad. The kids had a blast playing on the trucks and wandering around the station meeting all the other guys. Guess who was pulling overtime?? Ya’ll get three guesses and the first two don’t count.

Yes sports fans, JD was working and damn did he look good!! Wait, so not my story. He and Grace finally met and because there was enough going on around us, we three managed to get a descent amount of time together to just hang out. It was great and considering how awkward this meeting could have been…it went off perfectly! Grace and JD got along wonderfully, as I figured they would, and they even managed to gang up and tease me a few times. The only downside…I now have to enlist another person to be my impartial sounding board when it comes to JD, as Grace is now infatuated as well. (Though, we did find her a pretty-ish firefighter of her very own)
Next…ya’ll already got the rundown on the concert and hangin’ with Joel on Sunday. Oooh, side note: little brother Bean is bringing us the signed items for our collage that we were previously lacking. Yay us!! And yay little brother!

My workweek has been insane with this new report system that has been implemented. We are slowly working out the kinks…so hopefully soon things will get back to normal. (we had yet another meeting today)

Grace and I have been running back and forth all over creation trying to balance apartment drama with seeing family and getting caught up with friends. Tuesday was family dinner night in Napa (“when you get tired you take a napp-a; you don’t move to Napa!!”) It went well, I love that Grace gets along with my big, loud, crazy family. They really are fun!

Last night was fire cadets, no big brother S…he’s off in the woods being the grand poobah of the band geeks. (you know I love ya, S) So I had to teach by myself again…no big deal at all…I just had a manic crash right before I was supposed to go; this in addition to having to return to work to help sort out another disaster. Oy vey!! I need a new job, or a vacation, or a pay raise or all the above would be great.

Anyway, apartment drama: that’s what sparked this whole post in the first place. Grace and I have been running in veritable circles the last 48 hours trying to get all our ducks into the pond (forget the whole row concept). I am all for flexibility…but I don’t do well when NOTHING is set in stone. You’d think that after the last two and a half years of my life I’d be used to this…but no such luck. I am still human after all. So anyway, we are hoping that all the paperwork goes through and we still get to move in on Monday…if not then, we have to wait until Wednesday. We really hope the former is out option.

So that is the basic story of my life this week. Grace and I fly to San Diego tomorrow night to load up her moving truck and start heading back this direction.

I just remembered…today is Daniel’s 26th birthday…damn we’re getting old. Just kidding…not about the birthday though.

In case anyone wondered, I hate people… no, really, I do. By and large, people are lame and I could do without their drama for a while. It seems that everywhere I turn lately, there are dumbasses a plenty.

Here at work we have far more than our quota. So, first off, I hate people who get rewarded for bad behavior or for not doing their jobs. It is review time around here…that is a joke…and so not the funny kind. “It’s drama. Bad, not funny Roseanne kind of drama.” (anyone know that movie??

Anyway, I am so not holding my breath for the raise that I (and FG, D and the other office staff) deserve. No, instead some people who do nothing but sit on their fat asses and make more work for us will be getting the raises and/or bonuses. If I didn’t need this money, albeit pathetic as it is, I would quit today. I don’t even think I would look back. I hate working here…but unfortunately the job market isn’t what I would call booming around here. I love what I do, but I can’t afford to be one of Kathie Lee’s kids for much longer.

Secondly, I hate people who make it their life’s mission to be obnoxious. So I was thrilled about the recent outcome in San Diego.It’s about damn time thatthis happens. San Diego has enough other problems.

More things I hate: Celebrities who grandstand about some aspect of politics without ever bothering to become informed or provide any constructive suggestions to change the course of action of whatever they are protesting today. Miss Sadie has a great take on this

It’s also nice to know (although I wish she didn’t have to have so much drama herself) that I’m not the only one who has an intense dislike for most humans right now…it appears that Miss Judy has some words of her own.

It’s so sad to me how many people my age still don’t know who they are. In my mind, it’s natural to need some time to search for who your true self is, or to allow the “real” you to surface…but damn, people! I know this rant seems out of place, but I talked to a friend last week that still doesn’t have a clue who she is as a person…she is still overly concerned with how others view her, her life, her boyfriend, everything…I just don’t understand it. I went through a period of time where I didn’t know who I wanted the outside world to see me as; but I’ve always known inside who I am and what I stand for. Ok, sorry for the rant…I just had to get it off my chest. Maybe eventually she will figure out that she has to be ok with herself before anyone else will be.

Try Too Hard ~ Pink

1, 2, 3, 4!

You follow every line,
You wear perfect patch and style
You’re like a satellite you’re driftin’ throught the sky
You can’t make up you mind about this or that,
or anything at all

So you go with the flow and hope to God that no one knows it
Everything you are, everything you say
Everything you do is not for you
Everything you feel, Everything you know
Found it on your favorite TV show

And it’s people like you that make me sick
I’m surrounded by you everywhere I look
You’re telling everyone
How different you really are
But it’s been said before,
So maybe you’re not special after all
If you put the same amount of effort into letting go
Just act yourself and you might like it, you never know

‘Cause is everything you want,
Everything you do
You try so hard to be everyone but you
Everywhere you turn,
You just gotta learn
It’s easier if you don’t try so hard

And it’s people like you that make me sick
I’m surrounded by you everywhere I look
Is there somewhere I can go to get away
Where there’s truth and people mean just what they say
You try too hard
You just try too hard
You try too hard

And it’s people like us that make me sick
I’m surrounded by it everywhere I look
Is there somewhere we can go to get away
Where there’s truth and people mean just what they say
You try too hard
You just try too hard

Ok, so I don’t have the mental concentration to actually write anything new today so instead, ya’ll get some updates and some other interesting things to read.

First off, Jason of Generation Why is recovering well from his surgery and hopefully he will be up and writing again soon.

There are some great posts up today at Christina’s place and Chad’s got some awesome new photos up. Also, thanks to Chad for bringing this poem some well deserved recognition.

The Fabulous Miss Joan is having a rough day, so stop by and wish her well. Also, take a second to wish Judy good luck on her new job. (Fingers crossed over here, sweetie!)

If you haven’t taken the time yet, all the posts are up for this week’s installment of Seven Inches of Service…excellent stories, ladies!!

So enjoy the reading today everyone. If I get the chance and the brainpower, I will write more…or anything original at all. Don’t anyone hold your breath however, I have been incredibly slow the last two days.

So tired!! I haven’t gotten more than four hours of sleep a night for about a week now. My body is gonna revolt any day now…I am just waiting for my brain to get up the energy to stage a coup. At least I have a good reason to be tired today.

Last night Grace, D and I went up to Redding to visit Grace’s brother and to see him in action…translation: we went to see Dierks Bentley in concert. It was an awesome show!! I stayed sober this time…there were no Mai-Tai’s to be seen…orchids a plenty though.
So, here’s the rundown: the day started off with nothing going quite as we had planned. Grace and I ended up making an unexpected trip to Sacramento, we made an extra trip into town and then we drove the two hours to Redding. It was absolutely insane…but so very worth it!

We got to the venue on time (a big improvement from last time) and met up with Joel. We hung out in the tour bus with Gary and him. Dierks didn’t “shhh” us this time, he was actually rather pleasant. Just in case anyone wondered, he’s not photogenic at all because in person, he’s cute. We got to talk to Robbie for a couple moments…well, as much as you talk to Robbie, he’s pretty quiet.

We went and had dinner with Joel until he had to go to work. He set us up with passes and decided that we should actually get to see the concert this time, so he got us set up with our party cups in the wings across from his sound booth. We had probably the best seats in the house and didn’t have to share them with anyone else! Woohoo!! It was a blast! It was strange to be standing there and not be working, but it was a lot of fun.

After the show, we waited for Joel to direct the packing and stowing of all the gear…VERY impressive to watch. Anyway, while he was preoccupied with breaking down the equipment, Grace and I went over to the bathroom and got a long length of paper towel (it was the closest thing we had to butcher paper) and we borrowed a Sharpie from some random people so that we could make a sign. It read: “We love you, Joel!!”

So we went over to the middle of the front row and held it up between the three of us, just waiting for Joel to turn around; as soon as he did, we broke into cheers until he and the other band members were laughing. In return, he gave us a broken drumstick…which Steve (who “doesn’t do autographs”) signed for us. Hehehe. It was pretty funny.

We got to hear all about Rod, Gary and Steve’s experiences in the casino. Apparently Black Jack was a good bet last night (pun partially intended). Anyway, we hung out for quite a while, since we were still supposed to be hanging out with Superman…no such luck. He was still sleeping. So we sent Joel off to bed just before midnight and then we dragged our sorry arses the two hours back home. It was a long, exhausting, fun-filled day. Can’t wait ‘til next time!!

BDUs and DCUs: quite possibly the two best acronyms the army has to offer. I love a man in uniform! I have always liked men in uniform, but until Clark came along, I never fully understood the allure of camouflage. The first picture I ever saw of Clark was of him facing the camera, dressed in his BDUs, middle finger extended and a mischievous grin on his face…apparently, that was all it took. I was smitten.

I know that we’ve all written a lot about the huge downsides of deployment. All of it is true…deployments suck; but there is one little trade off that works in our favor…DCUs…I’ll take those over the BDUs anyday. Whenever Clark was in his, I wanted to rip them right back off of him. Not only is it about the sexiest view around, but it also made me damn proud to be his girlfriend.

Clark’s demeanor is always a little bit different when he’s in his uniform…not just the different conduct rules…it’s deeper than that. He stands a little straighter, he’s a little more serious, a little more focused. I love just watching him work and just simply interact with people as “army Clark”.

I remember so vividly the morning Clark stepped off the tarmac in Washington after a year in Iraq. In that moment he was exhausted, dirty, and about the most beautiful man in the world to me. He looked incredible in those DCUs, with his fatigue cap tilted back slightly on his head…I barely let him in the door of the hangar before I jumped on him. The pictures of that morning show the bemused faces of the soldiers that came through the door after him.

All that next week, he was in uniform everywhere he went, since he was working nonstop so that we could go home as soon as possible. One afternoon we went to a mall and because he was in uniform, complete strangers stopped him to say thank you and shake his hand. I was so overcome by it all…all I could think was, “damn, I’m a lucky girl.”

Part of me still feels that way. Whenever I come across a picture of him in uniform, or pick up his dog tags off my dresser or car keys…I am so proud of him and for the record, his DCUs still get to me.

Happy Monday ya’ll! As is the custom around here, Monday means the Seven Inches of Service posts are up. Go check them out. This week we are discussing the power of BDUs/DCUs over a girl’s libedo. It’s good stuff…here’s an excerpt of mine…

BDUs and DCUs: quite possibly the two best acronyms the army has to offer. I love a man in uniform! I have always liked men in uniform, but until Clark came along, I never fully understood the allure of camouflage. The first picture I ever saw of Clark was of him facing the camera, dressed in his BDUs, middle finger extended and a mischievous grin on his face…apparently, that was all it took. I was smitten.

I know that we’ve all written a lot about the huge downsides of deployment. All of it is true…deployments suck; but there is one little trade off that works in our favor…DCUs…I’ll take those over the BDUs anyday. Whenever Clark was in his, I wanted to rip them right back off of him. Not only is it about the sexiest view around, but it also made me damn proud to be his girlfriend.

Now go…read the rest.

So glad it’s Friday again…it’s been another long week. I went to bed last night at about 9:30 with the help of some really good drugs…I was apparently doing penance to the migraine gods…again. This week my sleep has been plagued with dreams…dreams I don’t understand, and can’t put my finger on.

There has only been one so far this week that has had any real meaning…and it wasn’t for me. I’m so thankful my friend knew what to do with the information, because I was at a loss. I knew it was important, but it’s difficult to disseminate information you can’t process yourself.

So maybe the dreams will slow down again now that I have paid attention and passed along the information entrusted to my poor, overly stressed mind. If only I could sleep more than a few hours at a time. I was talking with Grace this morning and she asked how I slept. (“On me back, Mush”) The answer: I slept a lot, I only woke up three times.

That’s not normal…normal people sleep through the night. Right? Normal people don’t wake up at the same time every single night because they missed a phone call two years ago. I don’t know how to fix it. My manic brain can be slowed though meds…not slowed completely, but enough that I can relax. But the waking up, well that happens even when I take sleeping pills, which, for the record, I do very rarely.

On another note, I am once again stressing about money. I swear, I hate feeling this obsessed with money…I really don’t like the stuff. I mean I like being able to pay my bills and play…but I certainly don’t chase money…if that were the case, I wouldn’t be at this job, and I certainly wouldn’t find military men appealing. I just want to be able to pay for everything on time and maybe still afford name-brand ramen.